Email Service to Monitor Someone's Email

If you have a grandparent with degenerative brain conditions, and you want to be able to approve/deny incoming and outgoing mail, is such a service available? There are two email services I found that are designed for parents-kids, but neither allows the monitoring/control of outgoing mail. Outgoing is the most important.

How can I accomplish this? Willing to pay.

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  • Set up postfix and in smtpd_sender_restrictions have a hash table check_sender_access hash:/your/filename and put a HOLD on their mail. Same for recipients if you want incoming.

  • edited June 2023

    Is there no prefab service/software that allows manually checking to deny/allow the emails one by one? That postfix would just stop them, if I understand it properly. I was hoping to not have to configure a mail server.

    If this service does not exist, someone here should give it a go. Imagine how many caregivers, parents, and the like would pay for such a service!

  • AuroraZeroAuroraZero ModeratorHosting Provider

    So let me get this straight.

    You want a service that snoops on people's email and then stops incoming or outgoing email?

    You do understand the risks involved on this correct?

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  • The hold queue allows you to discard or process the emails one by one. Maybe someone has already written a UI that sits on top of postfix for it, but if not it is probably 20 lines of code to get the basic functionality. Anyway, I agree it isn't the "least effort" solution you're looking for, but I don't know of another service.

  • Well in that case, maybe they shouldn't have access to email at all?

  • @bugrakoc said:
    Well in that case, maybe they shouldn't have access to email at all?

    Got a headache? Maybe you shouldn't have a head. *** Chops it off ***

    See the issue with your comment?



    @hornet, you need 2 solutions. One for incoming, one for outgoing. I'm not sure on the incoming, but for outgoing, take a look at SMTP relay servers. There are a few that allows emails to be vetted by an admin before they leave the server.

    Thanked by (2)hornet Shot²

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  • To those replying with empathy, I appreciate it. If you do not know what it is like to try to accommodate a 95+ year old with mental issues (in the home), I hope that you never have to. May you all be so blessed.

    Thanked by (2)somik xleet
  • Hi @hornet maybe I can develop a custom solution for you and the likes of you. Can we talk in private?

  • somiksomik OG
    edited June 2023

    @Boogeyman said:
    Hi @hornet maybe I can develop a custom solution for you and the likes of you. Can we talk in private?

    Ya, no, I dont know about @hornet, but I am not taking any custom "solution" for a 95 year old from a person with username @Boogeyman . . . or @GrimReaper for that matter... :lol:

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  • use a fake mail server. The email would not send out without approve.

  • Outgoing mail is difficult because I can't think of a typical use case. The incoming can be found as a thing for kids.

    You probably would need something custom. Is sending very important if you can control receiving though? He can't have a conversation with a scammer if you stop there incoming mail.

  • @somik said:

    @Boogeyman said:
    Hi @hornet maybe I can develop a custom solution for you and the likes of you. Can we talk in private?

    Ya, no, I dont know about @hornet, but I am not taking any custom "solution" for a 95 year old from a person with username @Boogeyman . . . or @GrimReaper for that matter... :lol:

    Well that's @hornet 's call.

    Or should he hire some random @somik ?

  • @Boogeyman said:

    @somik said:

    @Boogeyman said:
    Hi @hornet maybe I can develop a custom solution for you and the likes of you. Can we talk in private?

    Ya, no, I dont know about @hornet, but I am not taking any custom "solution" for a 95 year old from a person with username @Boogeyman . . . or @GrimReaper for that matter... :lol:

    Well that's @hornet 's call.

    Or should he hire some random @somik ?

    That was a joke, which apparently went over your head...

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  • I watched both parents fade away in plain sight over years until even the most basic dignities were gone. My mother lived many years beyond that. My father told me she had Alzheimer's disease more than 20 years before she passed away. The responsibility for their care fell on me for geographic and family reasons.

    Email was important to them. it had been their connection to the world of family and friends for years. As they declined, I helped them send and receive email from their room in an assisted living facility. At first it was phone and live support. Later, I would use remote desktop and do most of the work for them while they watched on their screen. The fact that it was their computer and they were doing their own email contributed to their self-esteem. They dictated. I typed and "translated" what I thought they wanted to say. Over time I took over more and more while they watched and enjoyed seeing "their" messages go back and forth. ... and the day came when their computer was forgotten .. and then familiar faces ... and finally everything else.

    Take the time now. You will never get it back.

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