VirMach Valentine's - Buy one get one free for your wife, child, and mistress

2

Comments

  • @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    LOL

  • @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    It's down now, do you expect more? :p

  • @fan said:

    @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    It's down now, do you expect more? :p

    Yes dammit! I shall accept nothing less than 150% downtime and that is my final offer.

  • @fan said:

    @Mainly said:
    When can the TY40 node be shut down all the time?

    It's down now, do you expect more? :p

    Take it off the shelves? Any idea how to set up my server?

  • I demand a free wife

    smartass shitposting satirist

  • @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    i am tried of you

    if you continue like this you will not get any real wife.

    relax and relax and masturbate if necessary.

    Thanked by (1)Flying_Chinaman
  • cybertechcybertech OGBenchmark King

    @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    oh i have one actually lol

    Thanked by (1)Flying_Chinaman

    I bench YABS 24/7/365 unless it's a leap year.

  • @cybertech said: oh i have one actually lol

    You have a wife.
    You don't have a FREE wife.
    wife is never FREE.

    Thanked by (2)shallow AlwaysSkint

    Haven't bought a single service in VirMach Great Ryzen 2022 - 2023 Flash Sale.
    https://lowendspirit.com/uploads/editor/gi/ippw0lcmqowk.png

  • edited February 2023

    @Jab said: wife is never FREE.

    Just like freedom

    @ehab said: if you continue like this you will not get any real wife.

    Yo @ehab chap, I'm fine being alone while wandering in the VirmAch thread

    smartass shitposting satirist

  • @Flying_Chinaman said:
    Yo @ehab chap, I'm fine being alone while wandering in the VirmAch thread

    virvir has his own schedule and preferences. He likes pizza and ladies dressed in red high heels. if you can offer this then you might get lucky.

    Thanked by (1)FrankZ
  • @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    hi

  • RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    Thanked by (1)Mainly
  • @qeba said: still offline

    Managed idling.

  • VirMachVirMach Hosting Provider

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

  • @VirMach said:

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

    I don't think that's necessary, maybe don't sell anything that's down at the time - I think people just think it's crazy to be having sales despite the existing customer base suffering and a great deal of unhappy clients due to downtime which suggests you'd benefit from spending time improving the service than garnering more sales

    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

  • @chris said:

    @VirMach said:

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

    I don't think that's necessary, maybe don't sell anything that's down at the time - I think people just think it's crazy to be having sales despite the existing customer base suffering and a great deal of unhappy clients due to downtime which suggests you'd benefit from spending time improving the service than garnering more sales

    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    It's not like it would work anyway. ;) I have no idea who writes the code/automation for VirMach, but they're hilariously bad at it given the apparent experience.

    Thanked by (1)chris
  • @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

  • @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    You telling me I joined a cult and didn't know it?

    Thanked by (1)skorous
  • cybertechcybertech OGBenchmark King

    @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    wait for a random "cancel and refund" button.

    I bench YABS 24/7/365 unless it's a leap year.

  • @AuroraZero said:

    @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    You telling me I joined a cult and didn't know it?

    Oh hi, didn't know you were a member.

  • VirMachVirMach Hosting Provider

    @chris said:

    @VirMach said:

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

    I don't think that's necessary, maybe don't sell anything that's down at the time - I think people just think it's crazy to be having sales despite the existing customer base suffering and a great deal of unhappy clients due to downtime which suggests you'd benefit from spending time improving the service than garnering more sales

    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    This is unfortunately a great way to speedrun deadpooling and it should only be done under extreme circumstances, which we did do last year. It's calmed down enough to where it should not be utilized as an option. Existing customers benefit the most if the company has a higher level of revenue, that leads to good things for everyone.

    These new services are going on nodes that do not have issues and are healthy, unrelated to outages. If there's an outage there's no way for a service to generate on it.

    I'll describe to you what happens if we do not maintain the correct level of sales, as it has already happened. (As I mentioned we did pause this due to a critical scenario in the past.)

    It creates a pocket of emptiness that will never correctly be filled. X amount of people sign up and Y amount cancel naturally, you can consider these baseline numbers. If we take away the X signups all that happens is that the Y number of cancellations still occur. Now to catch up we need X+n sales. This means either situations where the number of signups we can handle support-wise will be too high, and no matter what this option ends up being worse. This is assuming we can even get the additional sales to catch up to equilibrium. We fall behind and it's difficult to bring it back. Then we don't add the +n required in a timely manner it means expenses remain the same but revenue goes down. Even if we have the same rate of new signups as usual, there will now always be a lower amount of total services.

    Finally, the way we have been doing sales has been very controlled. We've paused sales, ran them for a shorter duration as needed. I have targets on my end and have been doing a good job of not exceeding certain thresholds.

    The level of support and time required for setting up new customers is much much much lower than anything else in the queue. It has minimal negative impact.

    @adly said:

    @chris said:

    @VirMach said:

    @qeba said:
    RIP, the last year sales still offline got new sales wow :'(

    We'll add in a feature where any time any customer's service is offline for any reason all services go out of stock.

    I don't think that's necessary, maybe don't sell anything that's down at the time - I think people just think it's crazy to be having sales despite the existing customer base suffering and a great deal of unhappy clients due to downtime which suggests you'd benefit from spending time improving the service than garnering more sales

    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    It's not like it would work anyway. ;) I have no idea who writes the code/automation for VirMach, but they're hilariously bad at it given the apparent experience.

    I agree with you here. I'd love to have a larger development team and how everything "comes out" is definitely not how it was envisioned originally. Unfortunately there isn't and there probably will never be the budget for that. DigitalOcean has 1,200 employees, a good portion of which probably are developers, and their most recent net income was negative 24 million dollars. This is while charging 50-100% more than us on our published prices.

    I know there's a sweet spot and we're working on getting there but first we have to power through every road block that's presented itself over the last two years to get back to that point.

    @Fritz said:

    @chris said:
    I know I've teased a time or two ;) But my teasing is always in the hope you can improve and become a much better service overall! I do love the scale and depth of services offered :)

    I know your intentions are good, but beware there is a cult here.

    My servers are having random reboots now, nothing I can do for it except pray.

    Definitely report any random reboots if it's random as that means something's wrong and not being detected. We're mostly caught up to tickets so it shouldn't be long, unless you also have other account issues as those tickets go in a different queue now. Otherwise if it's a known issue then we're obviously aware and working on it so the praying route works for that.

    Thanked by (2)adly FrankZ
  • My boyfriend is breaking up with me because I failed to give him this for valentine gift
    Why I didn't get him one? Because my account was not allowed to purchase any new service or send ticket.
    Please help me ,make my account "in good standing" ,so I can get my sexual appetite back,thanks。
    Invoice #1483332 .so you know which is my account.

    Thanked by (1)ehab
  • VirMachVirMach Hosting Provider

    @menatplay said:
    My boyfriend is breaking up with me because I failed to give him this for valentine gift
    Why I didn't get him one? Because my account was not allowed to purchase any new service or send ticket.
    Please help me ,make my account "in good standing" ,so I can get my sexual appetite back,thanks。
    Invoice #1483332 .so you know which is my account.

    Account cleared, I think you're the first case in a long time that was actually just an old flag someone else may have done incorrectly.

    Thanked by (3)FrankZ skorous user123
  • @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    is it ok, if she has balls ?

    Thanked by (1)dgc1980
  • @cold said:

    @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    is it ok, if she has balls ?

    Tennis?

  • @user123 said:

    @cold said:

    @Flying_Chinaman said:

    I demand a free wife

    is it ok, if she has balls ?

    Tennis?

    size of Tennis balls!

    Thanked by (1)ehab
  • @VirMach Offer no longer available?

  • @supriyo_biswas said:
    @VirMach Offer no longer available?

    Offer expires end of day 02/14/2023.
    What date is today?

    Thanked by (3)ehab AlwaysSkint skorous

    Haven't bought a single service in VirMach Great Ryzen 2022 - 2023 Flash Sale.
    https://lowendspirit.com/uploads/editor/gi/ippw0lcmqowk.png

  • @Jab said:

    @supriyo_biswas said:
    @VirMach Offer no longer available?

    Offer expires end of day 02/14/2023.
    What date is today?

    its Pancakes day

    apple pie is also nice.

  • We demmand more flash sales!!

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